le jour d'indépendence (i.e. in which we feel cool about being ex-pats, if only for a few months)





{consisting of eating lots of expensive potato chips, oreos, peanut butter, and chips and salsa near the U.S. Embassy}

Paris so far has felt different than my last time here; upon arriving, I lost my luggage, couldn't find my apartment, and was stuck in a torrential rainstorm with only a t-shirt on. As my friend Blair and I have started to put it, "Paris, I love you, so why are you bringing me down?" Thank goodness a little American-ness has lifted my spirits again.
Today I woke up early to go to the Orangerie. And oh-my-goodness-gracious. It was beautiful. I listened to "beginners theme suite" the whole time. It was magical. Then, i decided to walk to the Madeline and, afterwards, photograph every pont from pont alexandre III to the statue of St. Genevieve on Ile St. Louis. Then it was Musée Montmartre (A Must Go. I didn't realize how famous the paintings were in there. And it's at Renoir's house, so the gardens are pretty). After that, I just wandered around and had way to much time to think. About life, love, God, existence, the fragility of life. I was surrounded by people and yet completely alone. And it freaked me out. I only know how to be me. But what if I wasn't me, and what if I could just act different for one day? Would it be better? What if I hold myself back (well I know i do but...), or what if I'm wrong and/or closed minded? If beauty is arbitrary than does beauty not exist? If there is no beauty, then why do we live or do anything like spend time in a museum trying to analyze the work like it's their soul? Yucky yucky thoughts. So, at around 8 (early, I know), I just came home and have been doing work crap/painting since. 
That's the thing about Paris. There are so many people here, and so many of them are sad. That is what I have learned so far at work. Yet, so many are happy. A slice of humanity. I think both sides are important and beautiful, and I am learning to embrace both in order to fully live.

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